I just quit my job yesterday. It felt really weird. I was feeling relieved, sad, and guilty all at the same time. I had my emotions all over the place.
What made leaving even harder was because they were still nice to me after I left, and even offered that I could come back. On top of that, I left at a time when things were about to get busy.
This was neither the type of job that was overwhelming, nor were they the type of bosses that wanted to make you go rip all your hair off.
So, why did I push through with it?
I had other things to prioritize. Of course I was aware that I’d be losing money, but there are things more important than money.
Don’t get me wrong — I weighed the pros and cons before deciding. This along with the things I read from books, and from what I heard from people on YouTube… which probably may not be the best idea for some. As a 20 something year old, I realize that I still have so many years ahead of me — even though I always felt like I was a thousand years behind from everyone else.
The original plan that I had set for myself was to save up first before building a career. Although the thought of losing time for my original plans by staying in that job almost literally made my head hurt. Despite being young, I didn’t want to waste any more time. The past few months, I promised myself that I would try to be more intentional with my time. That meant that most of my time should be allotted for something that I really wanted to do. It had to be for something that’s actually aligned for what I had planned for the future.
So, what now?
For the first few hours of today, I felt this overwhelming panic and pressure. (Until now, if we’re completely being honest). I have this feeling and need to have to compensate and do something big, just to make up for the fact that I lost both money and the learning opportunity. Despite this dreading fact and feeling, I just try to calm myself down with the fact that I can still learn regardless of where I am or what I end up doing. The only difference this time is I’m going through the learning process without the money, but towards the path that I want. Hopefully the path that I’m headed towards too.
Speaking of path and direction, I guess I’ll just focus on studying and preparing for when I take up my master’s degree. Just take the time to rest and figure out what I really want and don’t want — as I believe knowing both are equally important. Maybe even figure out how to relax and not fret over the smallest things too.
One of my realizations is that I’ll be having my whole life (and work) ahead of me, so maybe a month or two of resting wouldn’t be so bad. I’m still not sure if this was a good decision or not, but I hope my plans take me somewhere great.
